Brush with death

Another brush with death

Very early this morning, my wife has a seizure. It happened many times before, and as soon as she felt it, she took her medicine. But she felt very weak and hollered at me to bring her a glass of water. I ran for a glass of water and gave it to her. She was murmuring something when she got hold of the glass of water and drank it. I learned that she was reciting a prayer asking God not to take her yet. I guess she don’t want to leave me alone. She was there sitting on the floor and I asked her if she want to go to bed. No answer. I massage her head and her back and arms until she felt a little better. There was a moment of silence. I looked at her sitting on the floor and praying with her eyes close and felt pity. I can’t avoid feeling guilty too. I know that I should have left her for good long ago. I was awakened from my deep thoughts when she asked me to bring her to the living room, and I sat her on the sofa. After a few minutes we heard somebody calling her name and my granddaughter opened the door. It was my wife’s best friend. What a coincidence? Did the good Lord lead her here? As they were chatting there, I felt good knowing that she has recovered.

Back to School

Back to school

    My chance to learn computer operation came when I heard from a Christian radio an ad about a scholarship offer for beginners. Their target was high school students. I went to gather information. The school is on the third floor of a building and as I am going up the stairs, I saw an ad written on a medium size blackboard, ‘Wanted 2 Auto CAD operators’. It gave me an idea that influences my decision later on.

      Well, I was accepted. There were a few courses to choose from and I opt for Basic Auto CAD. At the time, with my little knowledge, I thought it is a good choice. I was hoping to graduate and get the job as an operator plus they hinted on something like on the job training. A win-win situation pops in my mind.  

I prayed, “Lord, guide my way pls.”

     I was excited on my first day. I was an early bird because when I got there the lady receptionist was still cleaning and I have to wait outside the office. And later on I still have to wait for quite a time inside the office to wait for my classmates. Eventually, our school manager arrive and we went with her to our classroom which is in a rented house located a mile away from the main office.

      I didn’t miss a single day in class and in fact, I attend another class upon the invitation of an old instructor who told me that I can start teaching what I learned to beginners. It happened only once because when I got there the next day, I had the feeling that I’m not welcomed by other instructors who happened to be there. Besides the fact that I’m not really qualified. Actually, I’m only on for the experience.

      Graduation came after two months. It was simple and was finished on just over two hours. We were waiting for our diploma but were told that we can go back after three days to get it. After three days, as I was going up the stairs, I saw the same sign and it read, ‘Wanted Auto CAD operator. Must be an engineering or architectural student with at least two years in college.’ It annoyed me at the least. They handed me my diploma and I’m happy. The School President told me, “Come back here when you’re ready.” I don’t know what it means but I took it positively. And then another officer told me, “You’re voted as a model student of the year.” I was hoping that they will give me a certificate for it but there was none. I took everything in a positive kind of way. I was even hoping for something good to come out of this. But I didn’t stop. I enrolled in another school and at that time I believe, I’m on the right target.

The Shortcut

     There were a few schools who offers scholarship grant to attract students. It means low tuition fees.  I’m living on a tight budget and I am always attracted by anything that’s cheap. But it actually means they will teach you what your money’s worth. Its business and they have ingenious ways to bring education to the underprivileged.

      What I had in mind when I visit the school is a six months computer technician course. They are offering tuition cuts on a two year course. My wife tried to stop me. I perfectly understand why, but I promise her that I only want to see what I can learn in one semester.

       As we are near the end of the semester, I already got what I need. There is something more that I want before quitting. I needed a shortcut. I took up, in another school, a short course in PC Troubleshooting then quit. I don’t need a diploma. I just need to understand how to use my computer and be able to do some troubleshooting.

      Long ago, it was forced on me to play a dangerous game that only God can stop. Some gave it a name and called it, ‘staging a setback in life’ and others titled it ‘burn notice’ or simply ‘a burn game’. As for me it’s a repeat of the life of the Bible Prophet Job. But unlike Job, I’m doing what I can to parry the blows and blocked the flaming arrows thrown at me. Anyone who takes my side will automatically be in the game. It’s a deadly game. My wife who sticks it with me through thick or thin is already sick for life. Her heart can’t take the pressure. The only way to survive is to be free. I kept on moving on. My years spent on the sea made me tough. I know that if I stay close to the Lord God Almighty, I will not lose and I’m not aiming to win either. I just want to be alive and serve God any which way I can. I don’t hate anyone, it’s bad for health and I have a forgiving spirit. I always pray to God. May Jesus send His angels? If God is with me, who can be against me?

My project this week

I need to clear some space and I started it this week. It's shifting stones and earth.

The Practice

Ooops! I miss

     I started my typing by visiting a computer shop nearby and search the internet for tutorials. I choose one and so I began my lessons. I tried to do it by setting an hour a day but after a few days I felt that I’m not making any progress and if I continue in this way, it might cost me a lot of money and sadly, I don’t have much. My fingers are so stiff because I overworked them when I was working in my still small farm. They’re actually swelling in their joints. I know that I can’t stop. I must find a way to continue. Well, I finally thought of an idea. I draw a keyboard in a carton paper cut from a big carton of cigarettes and stroke the letters with my fingers just like stroking the letter keys of a real computer keyboard. My imagination plays a greater role in this style of practice.  When I wake up in the morning I pray by pretending that I’m typing the letters on my carton keyboard.

     My wife was amused by what I’m doing. Most of the time, she’s laughing at me. There was a time that she tried to stopped me. She probably think that I’m going crazy doing what I’m doing. But I refused to stop. After a month, I thought that I’m making a little progress and that really boost my confidence. But what I notice most are my fingers slowly reverting back to their normal shape. They’re healing! Finally, maybe out of pity, my wife borrowed an unused computer keyboard and gave it to me. I took it as a kind of promotion. It felt good feeling my fingers stroking on a real one. It took me a long time to gain speed in typing but I’m happy with the progress that I’ve made.

     I eventually decided to bring it to a higher level. I did my imaginary typing with my eyes closed. By this time I’ve already memorize the keys and I just have to feel how far my fingers will go to reach a certain key. For me it’s already a game. My fingers were completely healed. I even tried typing while reading from a newspaper.

     I continued playing this unusual typing game until I manage to purchase a second-hand computer set. Aaah! Finally! Now I can apply what I’ve been  doing for so long. I kept on typing my prayers to Jesus and anything that I can think of. At one time my wife woke up in the middle of the night, with all lights off, and said with an alarming voice, “What are you doing?” I whispered, “I’m typing.”